So, it has been a long time since i have been here and alot has happened. Mainly.. I survived a stroked on August 22, 2012.  I felt ick  most of the week prior.. and that morning drove to work and thank goodness for coworkers who are good friends.... took me to the ER where they invited me to stay for 3 whole days.... something like that definitely puts things in perspective as far as life goes...

i think it put things in perspective for the relationship I shared with my daughter... we were on our way to a nice friendship..... but this put that into hyper drive... and i like where it is going.. :)

so here i am... 5 months and 27 days post stroke... not words anyone wants to say... but there.. it is said....

i still struggle with my weight.... and ammm sooooooo looking forward to this weekend where I can start the re-training again... I want to get back into running... i will never be a first place finisher... unless you all decide not to run.. but that is ok...

so tonight as i sit here... i am watching tlc and felt compelled to post the following on my facebook page...

"so I dont talk much about my weight loss surgery anymore... simply because it is just part of who i am.. but sitting here tonight.. watching a tlc documentary about 4 people who lived 600# lives, reminds me of what I narrowly escaped.. my heaviest weight was 420+ ..or more... i stopped weighing myself.(yes i know shocker for my friends from high school) the things that these people are sharing... was me... still is me mentally most days...... i will celebrate my 5 year surgiversary on March 4th.... and i am not where i want to be.. and terrified i will ever go back there.... and even if i reach the goal of losing another 50#'s.. i wonder if i will ever mentally be there.... so just remember.. when peeps are smiling on the outside.... doesn't mean everything is ok on the inside... THOSE are the silent battles we do not share...... anyway... that's my soapbox for the night.... and honestly.. no clue why i was prompted to share this here.... but I trust my instincts.. so there it is. :) and maybe it will help someone who is struggling with their inner demons too!"

Not sure why I was prompted to do it.. but I did.....  hoping that for my daughters wedding i can be down another 20# but 10 would be more realistic... and this running/walking thing will get me there...

so wake up blog... cuz im back.... and you will tell many stories for me .. :)